Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Eugene Feldman - July 15, 1991


Let me ask you something a little aside now. Um, do you ever think of any of these things? You said several times that you heard dogs barking.

That sometimes will take me back that time.

If you hear a dog barking?

That will take me back to that loft. Yeah. Not as bad as it used to. I used to. First, of course, I, I would see Germans. I don't know why I'd see Germans all the time. I never saw that many Germans where I come from. Oh, I saw enough of 'em in the ghetto, you know. But not where I would really be frightened of them. But I used to dream a lot about 'em. And when a dog barks in the--at night, it sort of will take me back to that loft, when I said, did my, will my parents come back or not? It was an eerie, eerie feeling. That's something that will stay with me.

Do you still have nightmares?

Not really. Not really. I can--for--I had 'em for maybe five years. Now it's... That's why I don't discuss--my daughter tries to keep me going on that. I don't really discuss that. I don't want to go back to it. I don't watch movies on that. Like it was, "Hey, you know what's showing? There's concentration camp." I said, "Not for me. I don't watch concentration camp movies."

When you came here did anybody ask you questions? Did anybody want to hear about it?

No, they were curious about the partisans. They're more curious about where I come from than the camps. 'Cause the camps, there's movie--all kind of movies and everything else that you can go see. This, it's more, more so...

Well, that's the case now, but in 1947, '48.

It's still--there were more survivors from the concentration camp than from where we come from, from the partisans. That were just so few down there. Very, very few. And they really curious about people that fought back. You see, that's where they were more curious about. And a lotta Jews did fight back. They had a, I don't know the name of it, but we--there was--where we were there was a company, strictly Jewish company, a whole big company that was just Jews. I--at that time we knew about 'em. I can't, I can't think of the name of it but uh, there were. There were a lotta Jews fighting back in the partisans. But I still can't see why we didn't put up a fight. Too many religious Jews that accepted uh, that that's how God wants it. It wouldn't happen again, I'll guarantee it. No way, no way.

You said...

Everybody says it can happen again. Uh, uh. Not like that. Never like that again.

You said at one point you and your father had gone back to your village to do work, but that your family was...

In the ghetto...

being held hostage.

Well, they were in the ghetto. They were--all the families were in the ghetto. I mean, there was a lotta people from the ghetto working. We were in la...in labor.

But do you think it was difficult to fight because you knew you would be put your family's lives in jeopardy? I mean, if you were caught fighting, would you think they would kill your mother?

First of all, Jewish people are not fighters. My, I don't know. When I wanted to go to the partisans I was only twelve or thirteen, I says, I wanna go. Because at that age, I don't know if they accepted you or not, but I think you could. My dad says, "Well, you're too little for that," you know. But uh, Jewish people are not really fighters. Especially from where we come from, they, they are so religious. They gonna kill somebody, are you kidding? Now I wouldn't hesitate you know, to kill 'em, kill uh, my enemy. The Jewish people are different now. They would fight. But those days like my, my uncle, if God wants me to die, that's okay. They accept it. Nobody accepts it now.

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