Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Esther Lupian - 2007

Remembering Experiences 3

Do you still have nightmares? Did you have nightmares?

It was very, very...

Bad dreams.

No, I don't have bad dreams. Only, only what I, I told you that constantly stay in my mind were airplanes.

Mm-hm.

Rockets, rockets. From far away, not, not here, not about my head, but far away. It seems to me, again, it seems to me we will talk something, we will uh, announce now, but ??? And anybody who touch my back, I cannot stand. Cannot stand it. Um...

And you still remember the gun in your forehead.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And all, all picture in front of me in ghetto, in ghetto when, when Gestapo go in his boot, you know, boot. It sound like [thumping on table]. It's, it's quiet around and Gestapo goes uh, their boots, something terrible. We were all, you know, pressed and go inside until he goes by and go far away again.

Did they ever come into your house?

Gestapo?

Yeah.

Many times. Gestapo, yes.

But they didn't, they didn't shoot and they didn't take anybody.

No, they say loudly, "??? You go out." Uh, uh, how you say? Trator... Traitor, traitor.

Traitor.

Yes, that's many. They came in... inside and they ask something, "Bread, bread, wine, bread," you know. Ugly people, ugly people in black form. Jew was in green it seems to me and uh, traitor was in black. They not swear anybody. Only one time that because woman stay on me and they ask, "Save me." I was small. That I remember, she took me, she drop me on floor, last time. Maybe, maybe one of them was, were people better, you know, with heart. I don't know. But we didn't miss them. Jew people not miss them.


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