Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Simon Goldman - June 6, 2003

Fear of being exposed as a Jew

What was your brother's name?

???. Um, Wolf, well Wolf is the last name.

I see. When he came back, what did he tell you about Germany?

Well, he was, he was Po--he was working not as forced labor, he volunteered to work there. I mean uh, there's not much he could tell me about Germany. I mean, he was out of, out of the ghetto too, he was out of the...the only thing that uh, we knew about is that they killing all the Jews, you know.

Did the two of you talk about that?

Yeah, now and then, yes.


But, you know, you can't, you'd be, be, be afraid to talk about it at, on--at that time because you never know who's going to overhear it, you know, so. You kinda keep quiet.

Was there ever a time you felt that you could just sort of feel safe at this farm? Were you always...

No, always on, always on the guard.

Even in your sleep.

Even in my sleep on my guard, yes.

Did you dream?

Well, I don't think so. Well, if I did, I probably wouldn't dream in Jewish anyway. No, no, what I, look, what I'm saying is because I was so, you know, even, even, even the farmers would say, the Jews talk with their hands, you know, they move their hands. And I was so, so afraid that I would, if I talk I would, I would--even today it's already in me that I won't move my hands when I talk.

Was there ever a time when you were hiding that you thought, I'm not going to be a Jew anymore, I just don't want to do this anymore.

No, no, no.


Never. Never thought of that. Well, it could have been, you know, if things turned out different I probably would have never become Jewish, a Jew again. The reason for it is if I didn't have the opportunity. Then I would have probably been stuck, stuck on the farm, even, even after the war. If I'd got stuck on the farm I would have never, I would have been stuck in Poland, let's put it this way.

So, you were on the farm when you turned thirteen.


So you had no bar mitzvah.


Did you later?


You have children.


What are your children's names?



Yeah, uh, the, the older one is Ruth, the middle one is uh, was Randi--it was Pam, but it's Randi, and my son's name is Jeff, Jeffrey.

And he had a bar mitzvah.

Oh yes, oh yes.

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