Adele Sandel - [n.d.]
Memories
Do you ever remember uh, certain things about your uh, horrible experiences while you are doing daily tasks or on holidays or celebrations, or sad occasions, any particular times that you remember the past--that horrible past more than other times?
Like at home, during the war?
No, no, right now. Now.
Right now?
Are there any special times...
Oh, oh, I see.
...when you remember back? Like maybe on Yom, maybe on Yom Kippur or maybe on other times of the year or while you are doing something in the kitchen?
Yes, of course, on, on Pesach, like a seder we went...
When the family gets together?
When the family gets--the whole family was standing someplace uh, when we were running we made Pesach, we made seder. We didn't have chairs to sit down just we were uh, the four of us standing and then my father made a, a, you know, the seder and we di...hardly had any food to so, no, we have so much so I always remember back, back. It was, it was, it, it was not only us um, after the war and during the war who suffered. Um, many people suffered. I don't know where the food--where the farmers put the food, where, where the things were. You know, like I told you, an onion was uh, a big deal to get.
Yeah.
I don't know they, they just didn't uh, grow or what, I really don't--you know, like if, if something is very--the only way to, to be sane is to erase those horrible things from your mind--most of the time. You can't help thinking back sometimes...
Yeah.
...but most of the times you erase. Like I erase the, the sickness. My sister was sick more than a year and it was a horrible year and, and I just want to remember the nice things. We were here ten years together and if I think back I just want to remember the nice things because if you will think back on the horrible things all the time you--so you could lose your mind and what could you help? You just have to go on. You know, I have big responsibilities. My, my mother is eighty-six years old and she is not well any more. And, I just have to--and my husband is, is not so well either so if I would lose strength where would it put. I was very sick after the war. About for five years I had uh, a nervous condition. It was from the war, from the--after the war I had a breathing problem and I went from one doctor to another and they all said that it is the, it is the uh, circumstances what brought the sickness, you know. And, I didn't even collect--I was so angry at them that I didn't even uh, uh, put in the papers to collect this German uh, this German money, you know? I always thought to myself: I couldn't drink a glass of water from that money just--there was such a hatred in me and there is such a hatred in me now, too.
My father was the same way. He couldn't accept that uh, I think they call it ??? something like that.
Yeah
Yeah.
Then, my husband got it, but I just uh, I, I passed and I was late to, to give in...
Yeah.
...you know.
Do you um, do you experience nightmares?
No. My husband does.
But you don't?
I don't.
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