Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

John Mandel - May 26, 1981

Talking About Experiences II

I--are you running it?


Go ahead...

No go ahead, you were saying--say something.

Nothing, nothing.

You stopped talking about it right after the reaction initially, when you first came over. Did you ever talk about it afterwards, such as after when The Holocaust was on?

Well sometimes, when people will directly ask me, I, I don't mind talking about it. As a matter of fact I am glad to talk about it. I, I'm, I'm--I think this is something that should be kept uh, out in the open and people should be informed and perhaps it could be uh, avoided in the future from repeating itself.

When you talk about it now, what's the reaction you find on people?

Well, I was watching your face as I was recanting some of my, some of my experiences and I saw some of the same expressions in your face tonight as I have seen on some of the people that I've uh, talked about this before. And it still happens. People still find it very, very difficult. Maybe today they're more receptive to it uh, particularly somebody like you who more or less knows about it. But some other people just find it uh, very hard to believe.

I'm not supposed to show anything on my face. [laughs] You just...


Wife: There's no way that anyone can sit and listen to something like that without] Well. [

Wife: having anything on their face.]

I--but I don't think that it's at your experiences as much as the upsetness that I have with the Germans. I don't want you to think that it's you in particular that's upsetting me. It's--I guess that the whole thing could happen is...

Well, I don't like to, I don't, you know, when you say the Germans. I, I never like to generalize and, and, and, and say that everybody is that way because it's--nothing is ever a hundred percent. I mean, as I told you before, there were some people that, that were willing to come out and, and, and, and actually hand us some food on our march. There are exceptions to everything...


Um. [

Wife: Are you saying] The people [you don't bear the Germans...] uh, the people that, uh... Pardon me? [

Wife: Are you saying you don't bear the Germans any ill will?] I don't know what I bear. [

Wife: You didn't take the money.] No, I wouldn't take the money. Uh, when they were, when they were uh, offering--the German government was offering money, [

Wife: Reparations] the reparations um, most everybody that I know uh, got money from the Germans. I, I absolutely refuse to uh, take anything from them. I'm not willing to let the--well, these, these are my own personal feelings. I'm not saying...


I am not saying that it was wrong for people to take the money.


I won't condemn anybody for it. Uh, this, this was just something uh, my own personal self. I just couldn't uh, get myself to do it.

Did you work for Krupp?

For who?

Krupp, Krupp?


Wife: Krupp Steel?]

No, in Germany.

No uh, if I did, I didn't know about it uh, um. [

Wife: Isn't that the arms manufacturer?] That was the arms manufacturer.


Not as far as I know.

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