Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Bernard Hirsch - June 29, 1982

Feeling Guilt

Let me just ask you if you ever had any guilt. You just were telling me a story.

I had guilt just once.

Will you tell me the story again?

That the guy sent me as a letter...

Which guy?

Adam--that I should--that he had asthma, I should find him pills. And the pills what I sent him they came a few days late. So it was bothering me why I didn't something do differently that he should get right away the pills.

What do you mean they got there a little late?

He died, he died.

But you sent them.

I sent them, yes, yeah, yeah.

That's the only thing you can do.

Three years ago my wife went--three or four years ago, she went to visit. I didn't go. I'm not afraid to go to Czech...Czechoslovakia because I didn't run away from Czechoslovakia. I came through the, through the passport--through the visa, here. My wife wanted to go to Czechoslovakia. So I said, "Go ahead." She went for three weeks. She went to my town. She said, "Nothing was missing just the red carpet." They, they were carrying her in each one in the--they made a dinner. The fa...the son of the Adam, he sent what he was uh, what I was hiding by him--the son sent me, he made--they, they cooking a little food. They didn't know what to--that's what she said, I wasn't there just she should--so I want to, but this Adam sometimes we were sitting twenty Jews around the table. Nobody gave a penny. Everything was free. He gave everything to the table. And not I--because you asking me I should give you the story. You can ask another what he was there if it's not true, that we were sitting around the table twenty Jews and was everything on this, biscuit, meat, soup, every...you know how we were eating their soup? You would be surprised.

In cups.

Nope. They put a dish on the, on the table like in the middle of...

Like this?

Like this.

A tureen?

Yeah a big dish, a round one...


...and everybody was putting a--the, the spoon, and we were eating like a family, like a family in the house.

Oh, open bowl...

Open bowl.

...instead of each having their individual bowl.

Yeah it was one bowl in the middle of the table and we were eating all the Jews there.

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