Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Lily Fenster - November 8 & 10, 1994

You said you didn't think that any Jews were going to survive.

I didn't.

So what did you think was going to happen?

I would probably be in the--in that, with the nuns. I was with the nuns, you know the hospital the nuns controlled.

How did you get the job in the hospital?

The job I got, isn't it something, I knew a doctor in that Łuków, he helped a lot of Jews, ???. Angel of a human being. And I, when they want to take me to the army after you know, when the Russian came, I still was afraid for Jews. You know, for six months I was liberated and I still was under the impression that the, I wouldn't say nobody, I still, I didn't know nobody, I was like a stone alone. In a concentration camp you had a lot of you. I was all alone, a child. And to schlep around with the Polacks for three or three and a half years, ???, it was worse than a concentration camp. You know? So I went to that Mr. ??? and say, "Dear doctor, I am an orphan." He didn't ask me what I am. He probably knew. I say, "Find me a job that I shouldn't go to the military, because I am afraid, I'm an orphan and the men going to do something to me and I'm scared." So he took me into that hospital, because he was there, the surgeon, you know. A beautiful, gray, silver--gorgeous human being, a face like an angel. That's why I worked there, there so I had a clean bed and I had food and I took care of the sick and that was my life. You know, people liked me, but there was one guy, he was after me. But I was afraid even to look at a man. I was so scared. Because I think a man is going to be trouble. First of all, I'm Jewish, nobody knows I'm Jewish. I'm an orphan, what was I going to do? So, I decided I would be like an old maid and the nuns with those big hats you know, those nuns, the real Catholics and they always send me to church and gave me rosary ???. I still had it in mein skirt. I was so scared for the thing that I, dear God, please forgive me, but I didn't know what to do, I talk to myself. I was afraid. Because religious is something, it's something precious, it's something so sacred, no don't you think so? It's so in your body, it's in your soul and you just it's in your conscience I don't know what to put it sweetie. I think so, it's in your conscience. And that's why I adjusted, 'til went on that mark and found Yitzchak. That Yitzchak took me out fun the Goyim and draw me in back to the Jews.