Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Lily Fenster - November 8 & 10, 1994

So you got back--but you went back...

I back on the farm until I got my Kennkarte you know, when I got my, when I had a piece of paper from that Gemeine that I am, I stick to one name, I shouldn't get confused. I just talk to me and talk to me. Sometime after what they ask me, what is your name? "Halin Najinska," you know. I just didn't know any other names or anything. I forgot about I forgot about Skurka, Skurka, Luba about mein Tateh Chaim, mein Mameh Sheindel. I hardly you know, it's, you see a face, you, you just don't know if that's the face or that's my parent. It's been so long. We went through so much. How could we ever remember anything? It's a miracle that I'm normal. I don't know if I'm normal, but Sidney, it's a miracle, isn't it darling? Isn't it a miracle? I can sit and gave such a beautiful kids out of you, you should meet them. They gold mit brillianten. They adorable children. I don't mean. ??? The respect, you just wouldn't believe it. The pa with the two sons--we had a big business that respect. People used to call me and say, "How did you raise your kids. I never see them fight." I say, "When they fight, they fight under closed door." Nobody should see what fight means. We had our difficulties. Even with my daughter, she was young. I used to give her a slap in the face, she was too tough ???. Look at that! She has beautiful two children now, she complains to me, "Mother, Ethan don't listen to me." I say, "Yeah, I wish you that." So when I got the Kennkarte, it was a little easier. I lived in one place and we waiting the war should survive, I mean, then and then, the last couple months like six, seven months, I was in the hospital working. When the bombed, I used to drag you know, the sick ones and the little, little bed you know, in fact I've seen a lot of deaths. I've seen a Gentile girl, very good, Marisha, she died from the shock, after we went out to pick up a injured person. I've seen a lot of deaths. I've seen a lot of deaths. I was, you, you just, you just live in a dream. You don't believe it's real. I mean, but you're stepping on them, but you can't help it. I've seen a lot of dead Germans to which I had a little--sorry to say it, I had a little satisfaction and they went back from the front, from Russia there. More to the Wisła--to the border to Warsaw. They looked like not Germans anymore. But that was unfortunately the Wehrmacht. Just play soldiers. Maybe they didn't participate in the mess. 'Cause any German was ??? German and you know, ??? And even after the war they hate the Jews. Coming back, I used to work in, in another lady arrived, Mrs. Schwartz was her name. She was a real German and she lived in Poland. And she liked me. Also, she was sick and I took care of her. She actually--and Mrs. ??? signed their names that I am a ??? Catholic fun bones and that was a legitimate made. I couldn't do it any different. I didn't pay for it. People that had paid, they just had a piece of paper. I was registered in the books there of. Maybe if I would go back to Łuków and maybe there is still a, a, a copy and maybe I go back to Poland to look for the Kennkarte, but they got burned out everything. I don't think so they going to bother. Let them go. I don't want no part of Poland. No. I just said, "Why condemn a person? Why make such propaganda? Why do it with little children? Why? Why?" Never had the answer. You know, for the longest times, Dave was ashamed to be a Jew. He was so bitter in his heart, he didn't talk much, very--he can tell you some stories, too. He can tell you nebekh. Know the story that he jumped in Treblinka a mile and a half. He wanted to drag out his mother and she just couldn't and he lived with it for the longest time. Imagine, watching a sixteen year-old boy killing his father for no reason because he is a Jew. He is a little bit financially better than anybody else. That hatred probably was in him the bitterness for the longest time. Watching it. They were religious his father use to Daven you know Far'n umid in front of the--his whole family was very, very religious. In fact, he had an uncle that he was involved with Sears Roebuck, Rosenwald. You know that guy that helped the black college and everything for, for you know, see--we've seen here. They had a book from B'nai Brith, the Jewish intellect, I mean the Jewish, wealthy people and educated people. And it was Julius Rosenwald it was written about him. He was a big philanthropist.

Were you related to him?

See my husband's name. I don't wanna put it on tape. We had to change the name so, he did something black market, you know.

So did everybody...

Yeah, but I just ??? not necessary, you know what I mean. And they caught him with five hundred dollars. And somebody talked. He did some business with a person, maybe don't put that in. It was...

[interruption in interview]

...you know, he died in Israel. H...his family was in a nice uncle in Belgium. He has a cousin in Belgium, the name is Sonja. And she was in the resistance. She helped the French resistance the way she survived. The French, in Belgium.

Also a Rosenwald?

Her name, maiden name is Rosenwald, you know. Her name is Goldstein, I think, for the husband. Yeah, I seen a couple years ago when I was in Belgium, um.