Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Eva Ackermann - December 6, 1982

Memories

Are there things that you do or things that you might see or times of the day that make....

That will offset?

....you remember something.

Oh, I could--very much because there are television shows, there are--I can't just pull out of the hat. I told you when the mother and daughter where--uh, when my kids were Bar Mitzvahed. I wasn't able to make a Haftorah, I didn't. The uh, the Bar Mitzvah was a very painful uh, where it should have been a very happy occasion, it was happy in the respect that I saw my kids on the bimá and uh, they became in the Jewish, according to the Jewish religion then and those were mine. But there was--the sharing of the joy wasn't there, there was no grandparents to share it with. There was no one to be interested other than my husband and myself for the kid being up on the bimá. So uh, when they ask about that Haftorah, I said, "No I couldn't." I mean, what kind of a Haftorah? Who am I going to put it, put there? And I, uh, I did complain to the rabbi--not complained, I did aired my views to the Rabbi how I felt. That I felt very bad and uh, he sort of a little bit made me feel better by saying that this is a time of joy and uh, the parents would want it that way. But uh, deep down it was very painful and every and a lot of occasions--every occasion uh, with the kids or--and there--it could be daily that uh, that I can uh, I can uh, have a tear in my eye here and there to uh, to have that--especially, especially around the holidays.


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