Eva Wimmer - January 1, 1985
Mental Effects
And we--everybody is very happy here and--but we can't forget the past. It's a tragic past what we lived through and I just hope it will never be forgotten. And people should be reminded and, especially the Gentile world should, should know uh, what went on and that this can't happen again. And we won't allow this to happen again. And it's, it's--whatever I said was the minimum of it. It's, it's, it's just uh, a description of it. It's--you can't. It's impossible. You have to write books. You have to, you have to sit for days and days and I, myself, would, would have to make notes what to say and, and how to say to it because it's, it's just unbelievable. It was six years of torture. How can this be uh, described in, in an hour or two? It's impossible, but uh, I think...
[interruption in interview]
So, what, what, what was I talking about um, I was talking about, um...
You were saying how it uh, how could it be that people...
Yes uh, I don't know. It's, it's--I used to, I used to--when the kids were very young and I used to bring them to Dr. ??? office, he died, a pediatrician, Dr. ???, he was our pediatrician when we came to Detroit. Oh, what a doctor. I, I--we adored him and the kids loved him. What a human being. It's just a shame that he, unfortunately, died too young so uh, he used to say, "How did you survive?" And the nurses around there, they used to say, "You, you look so normal and you look so like--there are many people here who didn't go through. They don't even look so, so relaxed and so normal." I said, "Believe me. I am not." I cover up a awful lot. I cover up a lot. When I am out with people or even with my immediate family, when we will sit at the table, I will try to be as pleasant as possible and, and I will uh, try not always to bring up this subject. But, when I go to bed there isn't one single night, no matter what, that I shouldn't think about something. Maybe it's own--maybe--I--a million times I said maybe if my parents had some chance to immigrate to the United States like others did, before the war, maybe we would all be alive and we would have a normal life. And I would have the opportunity to go to school and maybe I would learn something and I would be somebody. Although when I mention this, I hear especially from this friend of mine, my neighbor, she says, "Oh, you are somebody." She always--whenever I say to her oh, I would have the opportunity and I would go to school and I would learn. I would be a professional, hopefully, or maybe something else, a good trade or something. And she said, "Why, why do you say--you are somebody. You are you. You are a nice, normal human being like all of us and maybe sometimes you know more than others who don't went through what you went through. Why do you say so?" But I say this because I feel I am lacking so much. I missed so much. And of course, for all of us we missed so much out of life. I, I don't say I am so sorry I lost the six years of life so, okay, but I missed something what I can't regain. And all of us did the same thing and this is something so tragic that nobody can, can describe this for anybody. And yet, yes, when I come out and I'm with my friends and I'm with my relatives we all try to be as pleasant as possible and be as normal as possible and live a normal life. We raised normal children, thank God. Our, our kids are--we can't complain. The majority are very highly educated and I don't see it did anything to our kids, it didn't affect the kids, thank God.
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