Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Sidy Weiss - January 7, 1987

Telling Story

So where do you want to start, whenever you want to start is where we'll start. Auschwitz, Płaszów?

Yeah but I, I--how you call it? I mixed up a story.

Okay, so go, go back, we'll do it better this time. We'll straighten it out. Which part did you mix up?

I mixed up there that I, I didn't go to nobody with what I am doing. I, I didn't told where I am, where I am--how you call that? With what I am doing right now.

You mean...

I wasn't honest.

You didn't tell people you were Jewish, you mean?

No, no, no. They know that I am Jewish. I told the, I told the people--how you put it? I wasn't honest with my--with the people.

How? What did you say to them?

Here in the, in the United States I wasn't honest.

Oh, so you think that they're going to listen to the tape...

No, they are not--I am not thinking that way. I am going to tell that, I am--how you call that? I, I didn't--how you call that? Last night I felt that I didn't say the truth, and uh, the decision that they make, whatever it is. I felt this only yesterday. And that's all.

So which people are--which--who made what, what decisions about, about you?

No, no, no. I--how you call it? I uh, never said the story to, to anybody that how or what I said that what I was doing and what I wasn't doing and I didn't say the truth.

So now you...

??? No, no, no. I, I feel that I am Jewish and I was brought up in a, in a decent family and everything else, but I don't know what happened, and that's all, and that's what I want to say. That I, I wasn't honest, over here, I wasn't honest.


Why, why...

To who? You weren't honest to who? To the people you work with you mean?

Yeah, and, and not even with my friends.

Well what did you tell them that wasn't honest? If you, if you lied to them what did you tell them? About, about what--your family, you mean?

No, no, no. They were asking how the things were with me, you know, how the things were with me.

During the war?


Yeah. And you didn't tell them the truth. Did you tell them stories about during the war?

No. That's not what I want to say. The thing that I want to say is that--how you call it? I want to say that uh, that uh, I wasn't honest with my people and uh, and uh, whatever the decision they are going to make is, is, is okay with me.

What--who, who is making a decision about you? Your friends, you mean?

No. I tell you what I saw.

All right.

The tape on?

It's on now.

Okay, it was on before too?

I had it off before. It was--I mean I had it off when I was talking. When you're talking, I have it on. Unless you want me to turn it off, then I'll turn it off.

No, I don't want to turn it off. But I--it has to come out the truth, right?

All right.

It has to come out, the truth. I wasn't honest with my people because...

Alright, tell me what you want.

Even with my, with my friends, and my relatives, and uh, how you call it? Whatever the decision is going to be, so the--that's that.

All right so are you going to tell me the story now? You said you had--you were going to tell me the story. So what story are you going to tell?

I am going to tell you that I wasn't honest.

About, about what? You weren't honest about what? About where you were, what you did?


So where were you, and what did you do? So now you can tell me honestly what you did.

I am thinking over here what happened, in the United States.

In the United States.

United States. I wasn't honest. They gave me all the--how you call it? All the opportunities and I didn't do the right things.

What, for example, what?

Well for example like uh, how you call it? They help me with everything and uh, it looks like that maybe I took advantage of it and then let them make the decision.

Well um, did any of these people ever ask you about your experiences during the war?

No, no. No.

Well can, can, can we just talk about the experiences during the war? Just you and I? And you can tell me some of the things that happened before you came here? For example when you were at Auschwitz or when you were at Płaszów.

Well, I am telling you that I am not--I didn't do things the right way, so I don't know where you want to go back.

Well, let's...

I am--how you call this? I wasn't honest, and, and whatever the decision is going to be I pay the consequences and--how you call this? I didn't do the things probably right, and that's all. So and, not my people are--how you call it? Guilty. I am the one who didn't do, do the right things.

In the United States, here?

Yeah but uh, how should I say that, if I didn't--how should I say it? If I didn't do the things the right way, I have to take the consequences, okay?

Okay, is there something you didn't do the right way during the war?

I did everything the right way during the war, I was a child. They took me away when I was in the--I wanted to enter in my, my school and I could not enter because it was--how you call that? It was prohibited. [telephone rings]

And--you want to answer the phone?

[interruption in interview]

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