Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Miriam Troostwyk - May 28, 1998 and June 3, 1999

Did you have--did you have nightmares?

So they say, "Why didn't you--why did you--do you make trouble to us? You see, we work all very hard and now you come from school and you have..."

And you're not learning.

"look, it's not an A, it's not a B, it--look. What are you doing?" And I didn't tell them that I was not interested. I didn't want to tell them. I said, "Oh, I can't help it."

You were still defiant.

Yes.

Um...

I think this is horrible when something happens like that. But I had another Jewish girlfriend and she was by a teacher in the house a gymnasium, so she could go straight away to the high school and later to university. She didn't have that lack...

Uh-huh.

for three years. And another from my uh, Jewish school had the same--but, uh.

Did you have nightmares?

In the beginning, from uh, uh, that uh, that uh, we were hiding and that they come in the Germans.

Hm.

These kind of things I had. But I think a lot of people had it. I never talked about it. I kept everything for myself.

You'd wake up in the middle of the night?

Yeah.

Do you still?

No.

No more nightmares?

No.

Good.

I, I only had it--let me say, from ...45 ...til I was about sixteen, seventeen.

And what brought you out of this state of depression? Were...

When I was working.

You left school?

I didn't want to school--to go to school anymore.

Uh-huh.

So what did they do? I had a--an--a not Jewish boyfriend when I was fifteen. And he was in a very, very good--let me say, the best high schools there were. The high schools in Holland are much more difficult than they are here, because they get already quick things to learn what you learn here in college.

Yeah.

They do it quicker, let me say. And that is not so good for the children. The things they do here is more relaxing for children.

Uh-huh.

I think ...til, ...til college, it's here more relaxing. When they go to college, then stress.

Right. They meet me.

Huh?

They meet me. [laughs]

Well, no, it's not that. But um, well, it--it's different, a very different kind of trying to educate the children.