Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Hanna Ramras - January 26, 2008

But what did you feel, I mean, separated a second time now...

Devastated, I was devastated. I didn't want to go. Mr. Style didn't want to let me go but Mrs. Style said no. And my, my cousin with the help of um, let's say this, this, this Rabbi Dr. Schoenfeld who had a lot of influence in, in government circles they between them convinced Mrs. Style that after the war--there we didn't know yet what was happening--after the war I would go back to my mother or maybe my mother would come to England but nevertheless in the mean time I should remain in a, in a Jewish world. And she took me back to Manchester--she took me to Manchester and I did not want to go and I was very unhappy there for a very long time. And my--I went from, from a Christian environment to the home of an Orthodox rabbi, which wasn't easy.

So what was life like there?

Tough.

In what respect?

Conflicts. I had been taken care of, now I was taken care of. I had no--I was not hungry. I had a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. It was war time and people were suffering and I came back into a Jewish world with very little knowledge and I had to learn everything with un...under duress. I don't know, what can I tell you? It was very hard. That's what causes, that's what causes people uh, sickness later on in life and stress when you have to handle things that war is responsible for. When I see a documentary or I'm watching television and I see refugees I see myself, but I am and I became--not through any brainwashing but through experience that I went through I became a devout person. I believe in God. I believe in the Jewish God and I believed that that He wanted me--the only survivor because I'm an only child of my family--He wanted me to live and to love and to be loved and to have children and to have grandchildren and great grandchildren, so He spared me and He helped me to understand and not to become bitter, not to become angry but to become aware.