Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Esther Praw - May 22, 1983

Children and Grandchildren

And you mentioned children with your first husband? There were two?

Both children are from my first husband. Uh, I uh, I couldn't have in Germany any children and I went through a tragedy too. Uh, I had several operations, and the doctor said it's from camp too. We didn't have, you know, they put something in, some kind of pills, you were not really a woman there, you know. And um, the--it was a big professor, he was a Nazi, but he was so good that they didn't let him go. He was still in Germany free, because most of them, they didn't let practice. But he, he did practice, and I went to him and he operate on me and I still, and when I got pregnant, I had several miscarriages. But finally uh, he told me that I should rest a lot, and lay a lot, and I was pregnant until the 7th month, 'til the 8th month, I felt the baby. I felt the baby all the time, but not too, too much. In United States if you don't feel the baby so much, they make an x-ray. Over there it wasn't, they didn't have those things. In the 8th month, I felt the baby moving, moving, and then stop, I don't feel him anymore. So I went from Altmann??? to Bamberg, this was the city, the biggest city, to the doctor. And the professor wasn't in, but uh, it was just, they had a professor and they have a doctor, Oberarzt they called him. And he said the German, wahrscheinlich the baby nicht, that's the baby is dead. For four weeks, I carried in my body dead baby. And then, the baby start to come normally, like a live baby. And I went through a lot because in Germany everybody had the bed by them, a little bed, and my little bed was empty, you know. Then I try again, and I got pregnant again, and then my daughter was born. I have to show you a picture. You can come over and I will show you this.

[interruption in interview]

As your children were growing up, did you and your first husband talk to them about your experiences or were they too, too young?

Because I don't remember, but this is what we chose ??? [talking in background]

[interruption in interview]

Because the reason I said I did talk to them, because I always talk about it, you know. [papers rustling] Here she mentioned something about--maybe, no, no. Look at the beginning of it, does she mention something about...

What is this letter? What does this represent?

A bi...biography from my daughter. For school. Did she mention something, because...

It says, "On October 7th 1948 two survivors of concentration camps were blessed with their first child."


So she did have...

Yeah, yeah, I did, I did, you know. I, you know. This is my treasure what I am keeping here, this um, I got--she, she was in school, very bright. I don't know, how to a survivor, what uh, they cannot really help the kids with uh, things. She, she was unbelievable in school. She is the teacher from the, for the special education. She doesn't teach now, she doesn't have to do it. She helps her husband in the office, she works with a computer, I think now. She likes to go away from the house. So she goes. But she is nervous. I don't know, it could be that also, when you, when a person is pregnant and nervous, they said it goes a little bit, rubs off on the baby, you know, and since I am out from uh, the camp, I was always very, very nervous. I learn now a little bit more to cooperate. To--I mean to, to live with my nerves, that I should be more, it means when it starts like that, I go and lay down, sleep a little bit, sleep it through, through the day I do it, you know. Um, just count my blessings, that I am blessed with a lot.

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