Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Martin Koby - April 20, 1999

Feeling Resentment

Who would do it anyway?

Yeah, but this is the fear, isn't it?

Yeah. Have you felt that?



But this is number three Jew--and you know the idea, what he--you know what he's always resentful, that Christianity did not stick up for the Jews more than they did.

The church, you mean?

Whatever you want to tell, the church or the intellectuals, whatever. C...who makes up the church, the Christianity makes--I mean, the people that belong to the church, the Christians, they were maybe peasants or intellectuals. And he says you know, he grew up in Galicia with the ??? uh, with uh, uh, Agnon...

Yeah, yeah.

...were--lived in that area. And he's a man that's afraid to, to--you know, for somebody might read his, his memoirs or his experiences.

And uh, uh, well, Agnon was already uh, written it, so...

But it's what--maybe he knows Agnon, maybe he doesn't. And...

But has he talked to you about this feeling of, of maybe he, he would have been better--died...


I mean, had he died.

Yeah, that's, that's not...

I mean, he's talked to you about ???...

...that's not the first time, several times he's talked--but I didn't pay attention. I--you know...

Do you want to throw the tea bag away?

No, that gives flavor to the tea.

No? Okay, um...

Um, I wonder how many other Jews feel that way. I mean, those that...


But the most, the most stunning thing to me is, that here he is, man--this man has a wife with three children uh, they are independent and yet he feels so unhappy. I know he's--whatever he's--but he, uh, most of all, I see--what I can see about this man that he does not have his family. Elie Wiesel also talks sometimes, that his family you know, all his relatives are gone. He's the only one that's left around.


Maybe you know, Eli...Elie Wiesel says it in--and then meaning you know, ???. But uh, from what I understand it you know, it's you know, I've been denied my family. This guy really adds a feeling to it.

Well, you--do you--have you ever felt like that?


But you know others who have?

I've known others who felt that way.

Yeah, I do too.

This--Wiesel he said, I would--I would have been better off if I stayed. But he--they didn't survive, so he must consider he would have rather died with them together than be left alone now.

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