Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Pauline Kleinberg - October 28, 1982

When I thought when Israel will be--became independent, I thought we paid such a price for it. Because I remember my father--as I sat by the seder--I don't know, I loved the seder as a kid, I loved--it was so beautiful, so nicely conducted and with those questions and my father with so much patience. He was a very--he was a father, he was a friend, he was everything, he was a toy--every child was a toy to him. When I asked about the seder, "Why you have to say over and over next year in Jerusalem, next year in Jerusalem--why all this?" Said, "We hold to pray ??? to be there." When I said, "This became reality," I said, "it was worth it already to survive." If the pain is so strong, which is too bad there is so few members of our family that survived. This alone was worth it. That's why--and then, with this Israel, uh, I um, had more courage--I, I appreciated more. And then I always talk to myself, someone has to be the one, maybe not the lucky one, maybe I'm the unfortunate one. But it just has to be someone. If not, if I should die that they too. And I was so close. I was closer to the grave than to life. Who, who, who would know that we ever existed? Who would tell the story? I didn't know where the others are living. I didn't know about the others. So, inside, inside your history. So it was worth it.

Tell me how many children you have.

Two. Eight years apart. A son which is thirty-five already--God bless him--and a child--with a grandson of ten, ten years of age--and a daughter in California.

Husband: Tell about the kid you lost...

Yeah, I know, I had one baby between ???.

Miscarriage?

Premature baby.

Husband: Five days old.

See, I wanted very much to have a girl to carry the name of the sister that I had been with. By rights, if we believe in carrying the names we have lost of the loved ones I should have a dozen. But who can afford nowadays to have that. But--yeah, why. But uh, when I was young, I wanted very much the sister--someone to carry the name of the sister I had been with and had died the day of the liberation. My daughter carries her name. And I had an old grandmother, you know, a Jewish ??? old grandmother, because she was too young.