Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Louis Kaye - May 9, 1983

I have a room by myself, full of pictures from concentration camp from Buchenwald and other places and everything with the lighting, two candles lights, day and night around the clock, for years. I figure how long 'til I come home. So, I took everything apart. Up to now, it still bothering myself. I did it against my will. If I took it apart, why I did a monument? Why I need a place in the synagogue? And you see, don't ever forget. I don't see this everything. They don't understand. I live with it. For years. Then I took the pictures and I kept the... Abe Webberman. You know Abe Webberman? I went over to him. Big pictures. Like we have one, two, six, a room by itself. Like you're going to the ??? memorial service every year for the six million. That kind of picture that I have. Don't forget. You cannot forget. And I have it, this for years and years. They, I don't... He was at that time an old boy and everything, about twenty years or something, you have no right, go against my will. I figure, what do you do? Fight him. I took it off. But really up to now I'm mad at myself for let him talk me into doing this. If I get a look at this picture now and this, what I need the monument, what I need the plaques, what I need the other things? You got to live with your own principle. My brothers, my sisters, they could not live through... Look at the pictures of people killed in concentration camp and everything. I lived ??? at least I know what I lived through and not the picture from me. People come to my office, let them see. There was a concentration camp. That's the thing, never forget. I hope it never happen again. I hope not. It just... Because now people are selfish. They make a living, everything. They forget. I don't know. Sometimes I think it's not worth living. Not worth it to live everyday remember my brother killed and my brothers.

[cries]

You living, like, make a living, make a day living, but still ??? never.

Wife: Here honey.