Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Esther Feldman Icikson - October 23 & 29, November 5 & 12, 2001

Comparing Lives

So you always have these one--this is a long way from there.



You mean this house?

This life.

This life.

Do you ever think about that?

Of course.


I think often. Yes, um. You know that, it's peculiar, I don't know if I should say it on the tape but...

We can always...

I never remember going to a restroom. Not until I came to Germany in '47, I think, we got to Germany. There was no such thing as a bathroom. You know what it means? Today I have five. But in those days I never remember going to a bathroom.

Even in Chelm.

Even in Chelm. There was no bathroom.


Outside. Outside. But in Russia you didn't even have an outhouse. I mean, there was no such thing. Can you imagine? I mean, can anyone imagine that didn't go through it what it is like? But we survived and um. I mean, it had, it had its own flavor I guess. So um, you survive when you have to, um. It was, it wasn't easy but the fact is that we survived. No one wanted to kill us. Uh, though, it was tough. We, there were tough times. We didn't have what to eat and we went to sleep starving. Uh, I, I remember, they didn't like us. No one likes Jews, no matter where you are.

But you said they were nice to you in Kyrgyzstan.

Yes, but. You know what, I remember, I, I, I was walking down the street--uh, I think that was the only time actually that it happened to me. Um, they're nice to you, I mean, they were nice to us, they saved our lives. But underneath there is a current like sometimes where you can feel that you are a stranger and you are different and you're still a Jew.

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