Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

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Erna Blitzer Gorman - April 26, 1984

Um, so my kids they've become my conscience with so many... I would always say, oh one day, one day, one day I'll tell you, one day I'll tell you. I just didn't have the courage for all these reasons, which in the beginning were that, how can you tell your child? I, I, I didn't want it to be like this. Uh, I, I just didn't need to. Um, so I, I decided to. They were appealing to me all the time. But you know, there is no more questions. Everything I've answered to them to, you know, they really don't, they just want the whole world to know how much I have been hurt. But it doesn't matter.

It matters to them.

Huh?

It matters to them.

Yeah.

Have they discussed this with you after you made the tape for them?

Um, I did. I gave them the tape and, and they went to school and when they came home from school, I... It took me weeks 'til I finally had enough courage to get them together and, and do it. And um, I couldn't sit in the same room with them even. Um, didn't want to see the pain on the, or the... I don't know what I didn't want to see. I didn't want to see them maybe, uh ??? do you know what ????

Mm-hm.

Anyway, that's what I didn't want to see on their faces, I suppose. But um, it was done and so was my husband.

Have they expressed any sort of sympathy, anything?

No, I'm glad they didn't. They knew.

They were intelligent enough to... Sensitive.

Yeah. My son, my, they're both so ??? And, uh...

Do you feel better having told them?

Well, I'm not sure that I want anybody to know all this. But do, do you understand my point? I know I have to. I know I have to. But you see I haven't resolved some of those things yet in my mind, so. And I, I know if I don't do it now, that'll be it. So, um...