Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Joshua Fishman - July 13, 1982

Debating Joining the Partisans

You yourself never joined any of the partisan groups.

No. Once I was almost on the verge--when I was with my mother I was on the verge of joining the partisan groups. They came--first of all when we wanted to join we were all of us together and they said--some partisans said, "You have to get us--you have to get guns. If you find guns we'll take you in with guns. Without guns we can't take you in." So how could we get guns, you know? You go in and there you could get--the Russians were bringing in some weapons with the airplanes. The--they had one place--more than one place but in the area near--not far from ??? they had more than one place. It was an airfield--a little, small airfield, they used to bring in weapons and supplies and ??? that's how the partisans had weapons. But they didn't--they wouldn't admit us. There was--at one time from a different partisan tribe they, they wanted, they wanted to take me. I was almost on the verge of going in. I was there already and then I thought about it, "Who--why should I leave my mother?" My mother, it was true, she could go after the partisans but she'd be mostly by herself and after so many calamities, what then? How would she feel? I, I knew she was uh, she really was a Jewish mother. It's not, not only in this--not because of this time--my wife and my daughter knows about that. And I knew how she would feel alone, not for herself but for me. She, for herself, didn't care what's going to happen. If not for me, she wouldn't even survive. She would--and besides, if, if not for me she would, she would just wander off and to get--maybe she'd go to the police herself to be killed. That's how I felt, so I didn't join. I went back.

You went back?

To my mother.

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