Voice/Vision Holocaust Survivor Oral History Archive

Eva Ackermann - December 6, 1982

Thoughts on Mother

When your mother started to cry when she was making meals, how did you feel--was it...

It bothered me that she cried. I, I couldn't uh, comprehend so I couldn't, didn't have the mental picture of what, what she uh, just as well as my kids don't have the uh, the experience and uh, you know, that you lived, if you lived as long as I have and even if you don't go through a tragedy of that magnitude you still are exposed to life different to be hit hard uh, in the business world or whatever. Uh, so--I forgot what the question was, I'm sorry.

How you felt about your mother?

How I felt, I just felt terrible about her crying--seeing her cry and like I said I probably--I felt, I felt I--you know the mental picture I have is her cooking and crying in-- right into the food. And uh, the funny thing that uh, as much as food is in abundance here--this stayed with me because I have my kids in California and in Denver and uh, whenever I cook a good meal I always--and they both need to go on a diet so there is just no way that they are deprived of any--but I always think that uh, that they not eating uh and sometimes I get a tear which is of course stupid because uh, one weights 180 pounds, I mean, but uh, it stays with you--it stayed with me for life. And how right my mother was to uh, the feeling that she had was absolutely I don't know uh, like I said if it was a feeling or no, I positively know that she didn't know. Now we received another card from uh, another one of her brothers. I forget, I really forget uh, how he got into uh, he was deported, but he wrote a card and he had beautiful handwriting and he said uh, on the card that he's okay, but forgive me uh, he says for uh, the poor handwriting because I have to write this card standing up. Now I don't know uh, what the circumstances were even though I went through after that. It was interesting that the card was uh, delivered. Probably uh, was...

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